I hope you like mediocre covers of your favorite songs

The ads play on top of the music, so you get to enjoy a cacophony of disparate noise for the length of the ad before you get to listen to the actual music. And by actual music I mean covers. Terrible covers by prepubescent kids. And mediocre remixes. The kind of remixes your adult scene kid friend slaps together on garage band and makes you listen to, where you give a thumbs up while internally wincing so as not to hurt their feelings. Youd think with all the intrusive ads they could afford royalties to play the actual artists music. In thinking that totally reasonable thought, youd be wrong. In my search for my favorite artist, I discovered the only available track to listen to was a song of theirs remixed with the goosebumps theme song. You know the one. I chose two stars, rather than one because I learned that while the track was the pinnacle of auditory shitposting, I could actually bump it. Goosebumps needed the update. Though since the original song was turned on its head, much like the listeners view of the world and life and death as a whole, I would suggest a more fitting name like bumpgoose.

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